Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Discipline...or lack thereof

Well, I seem to be back on track for the most part.


I worked out 4 days last week (not great, but light years ahead of the previous weeks).  I'm on track for 4-5 days this week as well.  When it comes to food, well....I am working on it.  I tell myself that I'm going to be super strict for just a month and see what happens....then 1 1/2 days later, I'll eat a cookie or something.  Sigh. Don't get me wrong...I'm not going crazy.  I eat healthy for breakfast and lunch and usually dinner.  For the most part, I do what I need to do.  But, I am all for moderation.  That's how I lost the majority of my weight. If I want a cookie, I eat a cookie (just not 10).  If I want a burger, I eat a burger, but not daily.  

That being said, I know that I need to really limit that moderation if I am going to finish the job and get the last pounds off.  They say the last few are the hardest, and I sure believe it!  I know I can't have a daily "cheat".  Maybe I need to limit it to a weekly cheat...if any at all!  But for some reason, I won't do it.  I won't suck it up and be strong for even a full week.  Hey, I'm not gaining, so that's good.  But I'm also not losing fat either.  I've been virtually the same weight since about March/April.  Expert maintainer here :) 

I guess my lack of discipline is because I'm comfortable where I am.  I'm not 100% happy with my body.  There are things I want to improve on...but I also don't think I look terrible (clothed) anymore either, so I guess I'm just in a "comfortable" place.  Now, when it came to having to wear swimsuits this summer, that's another story!  Remember....I said I didn't feel terrible clothed! lol.  I'm hoping by next summer, I won't feel terrible in a swimsuit! :)

So.....I guess for now, I'll just keep working out and hope I build enough muscle to burn the remaining fat off! lol.  And hopefully soon, I'll commit when it comes to food and be able to lose what I want to lose. 


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I'm back!!!! (I hope)

Yes, I'm still alive and kickin'.

I was recently advised that I am "letting down my readers".  LOL.  Just glad to  know I have (had) some!

I'm not going to promise to write daily.  I've recently learned that after I'm done with my work day, I just don't want to sit on the computer!  So I am making no commitments here...but I do hope to at least get back to posting on a semi-regular basis!

The past month or so has been pretty rough...for several reasons.

1.  I had an upper respiratory infection/virus/something that kept me down for a few days.

2.  I had company (my mom) that stayed with me for a week and helped me paint and decorate my dining room & office.  We moved a lot that week...but workouts were non-existent.

3.  Last week, I had a stomach flu, which kept me down a couple of days.

4.  I've been battling a lot of anxiety about my new job.  It's very stressful for me.  I *hate* feeling like I'm lost all the time.  I just really want to do a good job, and it is hard feeling like you are doing a good job when you feel like you are a total and complete idiot the majority of the time!  I had a review with my boss.  She was very complementary and felt like I was doing a good job.  That helped some, but I know deep down I'm still kinda lost!  I think most of it is one particular project I'm working on.  It's a BIG one.  When my boss assigned it to me, she wasn't aware it was going to be as big as it is.  There are way too many big wigs and executives involved and I just want it to go away!!!! LOL Don't get me wrong....I don't regret my decision to switch jobs.  I just know it's going to take time.  Apparently lots and lots of time.  And maybe I just wanted to vent a minute! :)

So...maybe these are just all excuses....and I guess they are (with the exception of being sick...that was real. lol).  In the past month (until this week), I think I've had only 4-5 workouts.  UGH.  Makes me so mad at myself.  Luckily I haven't gained any weight.  I'm actually down about 2 pounds. I'm just counting on that muscle memory and hoping to bounce back quickly cause I'm missing the leg muscles I was starting to finally develop!

I'm on track this week.  I ran a couple of miles Monday, ran 2 miles and weights on Tuesday, ran today....I plan on one more running day and one more weight day this week.  I know if I just suck it up for a couple of weeks that I'll get back to where it's just natural to do it.  After all, I know I feel better when I work out.  I know it relieves stress.  I know it has more benefits than I could ever begin to list that's what I'm doing. I am just going to do it.  Just do it, right?

So, to my reader(s), I hope you will forgive me for my absence.

Hopefully it won't happen again!!!